Detroit Lions vs. Lansing Firefighters All-Stars

UPDATE: This post has been restored to its prior length.  Thanks.

Tuesday night, the Lions’ annual charity basketball squad swung through Lansing Eastern High School's fieldhouse, for a night of “Harlem Globetrotter-style” hoops, as well as autographs, activities, fundraising, and laughs. Despite this being the 8th annual occurrence of said game, I’d never made it out before—but an invitation from a friend sounded too good to turn down. It was.
When I came in, former Lions Luther Elliss and Cory Schlesinger were “warming up” with a variety of horribly missed trick shots.

Shortly thereafter, Louis Delmas, Cliff Avril, Drew Stanton, and—I’m sorry to whoever this dude is—an older Lion who I’ve never heard of, and whose name I didn’t hear correctly, came out and joined the shootaround.





The first introduction was Delmas, and he exploded out of a throng of teenaged autograph seekers to slide around, showboat, and call for applause . . . the announcer said “Yes, folks, he will do that all night. He can’t play basketball, but he will do that all night.” The announcer had some fun with Elliss as well, announcing his weight as 340 pounds—and Elliss first sucked in and shook his head, then glumly nodded and extended his belly. Luther's size, though gave him a decided advantage on the tipoff:

By the way: yes, Cory Schlesinger is as wide as he is tall.  At first, it looked like the game was going to be a half-serious attempt to play basketball; shortly after it started, the announcer said, "Was that a 2-3 zone? Did you guys actually practice this year?" Thinking it would be "half-serious" was a thought too serious by half.  The Lions quickly put in their small lineup:

The game immediately regressed—or possibly, progressed—into an all-out laughfest, with trick shots, poorly-advised threes, kids subbing in and out, and low field goal percentage. I kept my kids informed on who the players were, what position they played, etc.  My eldest immediately fell for Louis Delmas, whose locks were up in a ponytail. Whenever he jacked up a terrible three-ball, she was transfixed, ready to cheer.
After the first "half," it was time for autographs and pictures. Each Lion had his own line, though Cliff Avril was initially distracted by the chiropractic display's massage chairs. My two elder kids (the little one had swimming lessons) agreed that Drew Stanton's autograph should be the first we get.
My mother, during Drew's MSU days, taught my daughter to say, "Drew Stanton, what a babe!" whenever he appeared onscreen. This time, though, she held her tongue . . . possibly because of the close proximity of Louis Delmas:

Sorry about the blurry pic, his tatted arms presented too much awesome for one lens to focus on. Next up, Cliff Avril . . . insert similar comment about how I didn’t know I was buying tickets to the gun show, etc.:

After Cliff, the siren song of the other activities was just too much for the kids to keep standing in line. The kids ran off to the basketball court, where the firefighters helped my son slam it home for the first time ever:

My daughter, meanwhile, transformed into a one-woman dance team:

She was then joined by a second girl, and after some adorable jaunts up and down the court, they went over to one of the firefighters–as it turns out, he was the other little girl’s dad. They kindly shared their chips.

Eventually, the horn sounded, and some more “basketball” was played. Louis Delmas, so businesslike up until this point, literally let his hair down: All pretenses of competition were dropped in the second half, and having fun became the sole name of the game. Away from the play, a game of Duck, Duck, Goose broke out, and it was such a draw that Cliff Avril took time-out from his second-half-long massage to participate! I tell you this for your own sake: do not challenge Drew Stanton to a game of Duck, Duck, Goose; he will destroy you.

At the end, the Lions assembled all the kids at the halfcourt line, with the firefighters on one side and the Lions on the other. They set up a football play, with Stanton taking a shotgun snap, and Avril going deep. With a borrowed miniball, the Lions faced off against the defense (I see great potential in their 62-2-3 defensive alignment), Stanton took the snap, hit Cliff Avril deep, who then, uh, drove the lane for a touchdunk?

I have to say, this was an amazing time. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but total freeform goofiness was much better than anything I’d imagined. My kids had a blast , as they repeatedly told me, and they were thrilled to meet some real Lions. As a charity fundraiser for a great cause, it was an awesome idea. As a meet-the-Lions photo op, it was far more satisfying than any I’d ever been to.

What blew me away was how awesome all the guys were; they had nothing but big grins and great attitudes all night long. They were incredible with the kids, and had a ball with the firefighters. I thanked Drew Stanton for coming up, and giving my kids an opportunity to see and meet with them, and he replied, “Hey, that’s what it’s all about.”

Even cooler to think about: after the game ended, the Lions drove the hour-plus back home, and were up in time for OTAs the next morning. As awesome as it is that former Lions are staying involved in the Detroit community–Schlesinger is a teacher in Allen Park!–it’s really amazing to me that current pros are taking time out of their “voluntary” workouts, driving all over the state, and helping other communities stay vibrant too. A big tip of the hat to everyone in the organization; stuff like this makes me proud to be a fan, regardless of what happens on the field.

Technorati Tags: nfl,detroit lions,basketball,charity,louis delmas,drew stanton,cliff avril,luther elliss,cory schlesinger

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Broadcast GIG: Guest Hosting The Knee Jerks!

Those of you who’ve been reading for a while know I’m a big fan of “Big” Al Beaton, of The Wayne Fontes Experience, and Greg Eno, sports journalist/blogger, and their mutual podcast/internet radio show, The Knee Jerks.  Well, Greg has to take a week off, so I’m going to do my best to help fill in.

The show goes from 7:00-9:00, and I advise you to check out the whole thing, but I’ll be co-hosting the second hour, from 8:00-9:00.  Plenty of Lions, Tigers, and Detroit sports talk will be on tap, so listen in at www.thekneejerks.com!

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Seeing Is Believing

On Friday morning, I awoke to an unpleasant surprise: my glasses were missing a lens. After twenty-odd minutes of tearing their perch on my bookshelf apart, I concluded that the Lens Gnomes had simply made off with it. Acute myopia, with a twist of astigmatism, renders me worthless without corrective lenses--but the rat race must be run. So, into work I drove, one eye closed.

Shopping from a list of nearby insurance participants, I called SEE Eyewear and got their earliest available appointment: 3:00 p.m. After a long hard day of squinting at computer code, I drove over there pirate-style. That's when they broke the bad news: they had no on-site lab, so the very earliest they could get me new glasses was Wednesday--maybe Tuesday, if God and UPS made a tiny miracle together. I had a Big Problem.

Fortunately, the good folks at S.E.E. (it's an acronym!) had a solution: they could sit me for a quick contact fitting, and I could wear trial lenses until the day my specs arrived. Easy-peasy, yes? No.

You see, I've had glasses since the first grade. I've never 'made do', never worn contacts, and never considered RK or LASIK. Going without my glasses would be like going without my nose; for the past twenty-three years I've never looked in the mirror and clearly seen one without the other. That nose has pad-shaped divots at the bridge, and my temples sport thin horizontal grooves. My glasses are a literally a part of me.

However, I had to face my face without them. A brief fitting session, and slightly-less-brief crash course on contact lens insertion, and the contacts were in.

My eyes felt more opened than they ever had before. My entire field of vision was clear. I could see all around me, wind wafting past my eyes, my face relieved of a polycarbonate burden it had borne for decades. Everything was new again! You couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I walked around looking at things. Mrs. Inwinter exclaimed that in our twelve years together, she'd never looked into my eyes knowing I was looking back--until now. It seemed like a wondrous new world had opened up for me . . . then I realized: this is what it's always like for everybody else.

The Detroit Lions are facing a similar crossroads. After the incredible burden of 0-16, the glorious celebration when that burden was cast off, and two straight offseasons of talent addition, the Lions cannot go into this season hoping to win a single game, or even win a game or two more than last. No, the Lions have assembled a talented roster, with legitimate talent on both sides of the ball. The veterans will be expected to play as they have, and the youngsters will be expected to produce up to their potential. A 3-13 season will be a disappointment, not a thrilling sign of what's to come.

You can see it best, perhaps, in the defensive line: Jason Hunter. Jared DeVries. Landon Cohen. Turk McBride. Andre Fluellen. These guys are good players; they certainly belong on an NFL roster. But Sammie Hill, Corey Williams, Ndamukong Suh, Kyle Vanden Bosch, and Cliff Avril take up five spots, and seventh-rounder Willie Young should catch on. That leaves three, maybe four, more spots for five players. A player who is good enough to play in the NFL will be released, because they aren't good enough to play for the Lions.

As Uncle Ben told us, with great power, comes great responsibility--and with great potential, comes great expectations. It's assumed that second-year quarterback Matthew Stafford will take a big step forward. It's assumed that Vanden Bosch and Nate Burleson will step in and produce. It's assumed that both Lions first-rounders, Suh and Jahvid Best, will step in and be the impact players they were in college. If these players don't step up, there are going to be some serious grumblings from the fans--and presumably, the owner, since he's on the hook for these players' staggering contracts.

If they do, the Lions will have, at minimum, a legitimate NFL offense: everyone running with the ones is either an established NFL starter, or a first-round pick of the last three years. It's tempting to start pencilling in pinball numbers for this newly-legitimate Lions offense, but then it hits you: this is what it's always like for everybody else.

The Lions, like Pinocchio, have cast off their strings and become Real Boys, but now they face real dangers, difficulties, and pitfalls. Yes, it's terrible coming off of an 0-16 season. Yes, it's terrible being the butt of every joke. But, there's also something easy about that, something safe: a real team, with real expectations of competitiveness, doesn't come back out of the locker room for an extended curtain call because they won a game. Those days are over, thank God, but it's a mixed blessing: there's no longer nowhere to go but up.

We no longer view this team through the glasses of perennial loserdom. We no longer see them as a ragtag bunch of misfits for whom victory is a rare and treasured accident, we see them as they are: a very young, talented team with a lot of potential--and a whole lot to prove. It's been a long time since we've been able to take the Lions at face value, but now, as full-roster OTAs begin, it's time. Let's take the blue-colored glasses off, step into the warm spring sun, and see the Lions as they truly are.

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