Weston Corbitt’s 3rd-Prize Writing Contest Entry

Weston Corbitt, who writes the sports blog Season Tickets With Weston Corbitt, penned this piece as an entry to the AXE Hair/TLiW Writing Contest—and won third prize.  Enjoy.

I was most proud of being a Lions fan after they defeated the Washington Redskins, week 3 of the 2009-2010 NFL Season. With the win, I saw the end of one era and the beginning of a new one. I felt the most pride in this moment, because after growing with the good and the bad, the Barry Sanders years and the Millen debacle, I saw improvement, I saw we found a leader, I saw we found direction.

I don't have to explain the pain and shame of the 0-16 season to Lions fans. I took it hard because how much I love and follow this team. But with this one win, the future seemed brighter for the first time since before Barry Sanders retired. Sure, the firing of the worst GM in the history of sports helped but that is putting a band aid over a hemorrhage. The real problem wasn't addressed yet.

My best friend came down for the game, and he asked me before the game if we were going to win. I said, "without a doubt, the streak will end today." I watched the game on the edge of my seat, with the Lions taking the lead later in a game than I would like to remember. The Redskins, down by 5, drove down the field, trying to the lead. I was afraid this would go like season and the Lions would come up just short again.

Campbell threw short, hit his man, and he ran up field. The lateral was thrown, and soon, the man was tackled and the game was over. I jumped up and down for minutes, screaming with joy. I sang "Gridiron Heroes" about fifty times. You could hear other people in my apartment complex going nuts too. I loved seeing the players coming out and shaking hands with the fans. I was happier than I ever have been watching the Lions. The relief, the happiness, the excitement the future held was all overwhelming. I was so proud because I was a real fan and stuck by the team I grew up with. I was rewarded for my loyalty just for a little bit that day. I went to class the next day with my brand new Calvin Johnson jersey on. I wore it with so much pride. I heard from a lot of people "congrats" or "way to hang in there" or "they really impressed me yesterday." That was the proudest moment in my life when it comes to the Lions. I will never forget that day or that game.

Technorati Tags: nfl,detroit lions,axe hair action challenge,writing,blogging,season tickets with weston corbitt

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LionsFanRoc’s 2nd-Prize Writing Contest Entry

Here is the 2nd-prize winning entry for the AXE Hair/TLIW Writing Contest, written by LionsFanRoc!

I won’t pretend that I’ve had to suffer more than other Lions fans, we all know what one another has been through: draft jokes about wide receivers, constant razzing from friends who are lucky enough to follow winning teams, reading moronic comments from every a$#hole with a computer, etc.

What I can tell you is that I’ve been a Lions fan as long as I can remember, living in upstate New York. When the Buffalo Bills were winning four straight AFC championships from 1990-1994, I was watching (whenever the Lions played nationally televised games) Barry Sanders, once a backup to the Bills Hall of Famer running back Thurman Thomas, try to single handedly win games for the Lions. Needless to say, despite being only 20 years old, Barry Sanders was all I’d ever had to be proud of as a Lions fan.

That is until September 27, 2009 when the Lions played the underachieving Washington Redskins.

I had waited all week for the game, wrote an article on Bleacherreport.com about what I predicted the outcome would be (a Lions win of course!), and had set up a way to watch the game streaming live with two friends of mine who were Redskins fans (both of whom are actually very attractive girls… as if I needed any more of a reason to watch!).

I walked over to their dorm 30 minutes before the game to get situated to find that my only seat would be on the floor, but I didn’t mind. It was the first time I would get to watch a game in its entirety and not on a site like justin.tv which would surely be shut down mid-game.

For an entire three hours I endured their taunts of “How can we be losing to the Lions?!”, or “God how bad are we this year?” without shoving one right back in their face. After all, they’re attractive girls and chivalry isn’t totally dead with this 20 year old. I remained polite throughout and simply decided that it was best not to test karma or get my hopes up despite being up 19-7 with only five minutes left.

Of course, my fears were confirmed with a Redskins touchdown with two and a half minutes remaining making the score 19-14. The Lions couldn’t possibly blow this game, could they?

With eight seconds left on the Lions 36 yard line the Redskins had time for one last play and I couldn’t keep my body still. The long time out right before hand sure wasn’t helping to ease the tension, I mean who knows what could happen? They could get a pass interference call in the end zone and have a play from the one yard line (something the Lions benefited from later on in 2009!).

Finally the play came. The Redskins were in trips right at the top of my screen and had another receiver at the bottom of the screen. Surely he was just a decoy; Campbell was throwing a jump ball to the right in the end zone hoping for those yellow flags.

To my surprise it was a trick play: the hook and ladder, and a poorly executed one at that. Larry Foote finally sent me into a state of jubilation I had not felt in a long time.

I proceeded to make an ass of myself, running out of the room and down the hall screaming. In my celebration I actually ran towards the wrong end of the hallway and a dead end at a locked student lounge that had been converted into a triple dorm room. It didn’t matter to me as I ran right back past the room I had exited and on to the elevator, realizing at the last second as the doors began to close that I had never thanked the girls. The exchange was awkward to say the least after my euphoric outburst, but they understood.

I received many texts, facebook posts, e-mails and even a few telephone calls of congratulations that day, but nothing was better than walking back to my own dorm room where my roommate was waiting with a handshake.

Why you ask? Because finally someone who jeered me every single week had to give my team credit… he’s a Packers fan.

Technorati Tags: nfl,detroit lions,washington redskins,axe hair action challenge,writing,blogging

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Rob Davies's Winning TLiW Writing Contest Entry

Here is the winning entry of the AXE Hair/The Lions in Winter writing contest, penned by Rob Davies of Niles, MI.

There I was, in the body of a Lions fan at 18,000 feet. Oil covered my windscreen -- my lifeless Merlin engine on fire. My canopy could not be budged - I was locked inside an aerial coffin. I watched, transfixed, as my altitude evaporated like rubbing alcohol in the noon-day sun. Paralyzed by fear and anxiety, suffocating under the weight of knowing I would be obliterated in a matter of moments when my stricken Spitfire met the hard, dusty surface of the Libyan desert below. The trim, sand-colored little Messerschmitt, my destroyer, spiraled away to celebrate his kill. A life snuffed out in a flash. A momentary blip on a radar screen only the gods will ever see. Oh, the humanity!

Okay, okay, I made that up. A statistics professor from my college days once insisted that cheesy dramatics and over-done visual imagery is the only way to begin a "Lionsinwinter writing contest," and his words carried a lot of weight while I struggled to maintain a B average. Here's the real story:

My moment of pronounced Detroit Lions pride, rare though it may have been, came and went without notice in the clatter of an America West Airlines gate in Phoenix's Sky Harbor airport. Held hostage by circumstance on my way home to Portland from a business trip to Dallas, we sat out the delay of our plane's arrival from Houston, victims of torrential rain and flooding in Texas that had conspired to hold all departing flights by two hours.

Trying to get comfortable with my keester planted on those wretched, plasticine gate chairs, I was busy pretending to read a newspaper (Arizona State University's women's softball team had arrived, and a compelling distraction they were). After a while, the noisy, animated coeds finally boarded their flight at the neighboring gate, and a relative quietude was restored to our little corner of Sky Harbor. I went back to my paper, disgusted with an insolent sports hack's human interest story about NHL enforcers, in which Joe Kocur was merely a footnote. Joe Kocur! Without warning, a fleet of high-tech consultants arrived, with metrology gear, carry-ons and laptops in tow. I know they were high-tech consultants because garish embroidery on the fashionably black Cutter & Buck corporate polos they all wore told me so.

There must've been fifteen of them, mostly in their 40s and 50s (the Ajax Consulting Firm's hand-picked shock troops, one presumes, dispatched to troubleshoot and look cool in front of a customer), and they took up defensive positions in the row of seats farthest from the windows, facing me, with backs to the concourse. They were obviously a Los Angeles-based crew, judging from the snivelry and outrage over some bad deal made by the Dodgers that didn't pan out, plus a snotty comment or three about the general rudeness of Giants fans up in San Francisco.

As they settled in, two of the brethren continued what had evidently been an on-going dispute over football greatness. One of the boys (we'll call him Dirk) argued in favor of the "obvious" superiority of the Pittsburgh Steelers, while the other (we'll call him Lance) denounced the idea as heresy, saying instead there was 'only one true NFL pantheon,' the Dallas Cowboys.

As neither of them sported the requisite accent, it was clear the Steelers and Cowboys were acquired tastes, rather than born-and-raised, state or city-centric allegiances like mine. Dirk had no aggravating Western Pennsylvania dialect, wherein "L" sounds are mysteriously replaced with "W" sounds (listen to Jim Kelly or Myron Cope for ten seconds, and you'll know what I mean).

Lance, a seemingly arrogant and self-centered pretty boy, was void of anything like a "Metroplex" drawl, filled with "pert nears" and "dangs" and "Aw shoot -- ah ripped mah britches agin!" In my ear, his words had an arguably Toronto-esque quality. No, Dirk and Lance adopted their teams, having sprung from a much different part of the Earth, and one in which NFL teams are probably absent.

They cited examples to support their competing positions. Dirk led off with Franco Harris' miracle catch, Lynn Swann's flying leap, Mean Joe Greene's...well, meanness. The Terrible Towel. The Steel Curtain D. Jack friggin' Lambert! Dirk was in a state of gridiron rapture. But Lance countered with his own list. Staubach and Garrison. Landry's tiny fedora against the backdrop of a full-up Texas Stadium and cheerleaders who set the standard. Too-Tall Jones. Emmitt and Irvin and Aikman, oh my. Tony friggin' Dorsett!

It was abundently clear that the fervent commentary was not aimed as much at football greatness as it was an implied superiority (by association, of course) each claimed for having had lots and lots of 'wisdom' in choosing their respective NFL teams to root for. This wasn't 'my team is better than yours,' it was 'I'm better than you.' It didn't take long for this truth to emerge fully, as the inevitable ad-hominem attacks took the argument to a higher level. Dirk thought Lance was a moron, and Lance regarded Dirk as a witless Philistine.

Suddenly, as I grinned behind the pages of my newspaper, a voice from above, booming and sopping with authority, said, "I can't believe I'm hearing this -- you're idiots, and you make me sick!"

Laughter followed, and the contingent joined in to ridicule Dirk and Lance as the voice, belonging to a rather portly and senior member of the group (we'll call him Walter), smiled and shook his head the way parents do when a fireplace warning to children, unheeded, results in burned fingers and lessons learned.

Dirk and Lance, stopped dead in their tracks, presented a face of bewilderment and astonished embarrassment that makes me long for cameras in my eyes, just so I could show you now. "Every time you start yapping about the Steelers and the Cowboys," (emphasis added to show Walter's sarcasm in action) you just sound stupid!" Before Lance and Dirk could mount anything resembling a defense, Walter was on them like a cheetah on a blind Thompson's gazelle with a broken leg.

"So what, you're so smart and 'somebody,' just because you piggy-backed in on teams who were winning? That's what half of the world's Yankees fans do!" Blank stares from Dirk and Lance. "I'm supposed to be impressed? How come you didn't start rooting for Tampa Bay or the Cleveland Browns? You're not from Pittsburgh, (Dirk)! You've never been there a day in your life! And you're (Lance) not even American, for ****'s sake -- you're a damned Canuck!" (more laughs from the other boys on the team, as my suspicion of Lance's Ontario heritage was confirmed).

Dirk and Lance, in full retreat, offered up the lame argument that they chose their teams out of conviction, instead of having them handed over as a matter of course and an accident of birth. Walter wasn't buying it.

"You're not football fans, you're just a couple of hangers-on who try to look cool," Walter continued. "Neither of you clowns (I love it when salty old hands call young, stupid guys 'clowns') have any idea how it feels to be a real fan! You picked those teams because they were going to the Superbowl when you were a couple of brats in school, that's all. You picked them for all the wrong reasons. If Roger Staubach and Tony Dorsett played for the Oilers, or Bradshaw and Harris played for Miami, you'd hate the Cowboys and Dolphins."

I noticed how quiet it had become -- this was getting good.

Walter went on. "You want to see a real fan? Go find a Green Bay Packer fan. They jam that place in a blizzard, and they do it every year whether Green Bay is winning or not. Better yet, go find a Detroit Lions fan! They ain't never been to a Superbowl (love those folksy double-negatives, too), and they probably never will. They haven't won a damn thing since the Fifties, but they're always hardcore for their Lions. I went there back in the 'eighties with my wife's family and watched them kick the hell out of the STEELERS on Thanksgiving, and you would've thought it was the Superbowl from the size of that crowd - you couldn't hear yourself think inside that place. That's what real fans look like."

At this point, I had emerged from behind my paper, fully engrossed in this splendid tirade -- my silver and blue heart swelling with pride.

"Those fans are loyal, and they stick with their team no matter what. Both of you clowns just went out and rented one. Don't tell me about football teams and football fans -- you don't know what you're talking about."

With that, Dirk and Lance gave in to harsh reality and did themselves a favor by clamming up. The other boys returned to their tech talk, Walter returned to a bag of neglected pretzels, and I went back to my paper.

I have recounted this event to other Lions fans, and the odd occasional infidel from places like Chicago and Minneapolis. Each time, after enduring the ridicule that comes with winless seasons and a decade of misery under the blind, thoughtless leadership of Penn State's favorite linebacker, I imagine (wistfully) what it must've been like for long-suffering Saints fans this year, or Red Sox fans when they broke their curse. Then I remember why I suffer the Lions.

I'm from Michigan. I'm proud of that. I was born a Lions fan, and it's part of my identity. I have the right to grouse and complain when they hire idiots who preached "good pad-level," and the benefits of the "Tampa-2." I have the authority to delight or despair when a draft pick is called out by the Commish. I like Honolulu blue, thank you very much. Most of all, I will be unassailable in my joy when the Lions stun the football world in a future Superbowl, even if I have to do it from beyond the grave. I will be clean when I exorcise my life-long demons and celebrate that day. I am a Lions fan 'til the end. I was proud that day, and I make no apologies for it.

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AXE Hair/TLiW Writing Contest Winner!

I was pleased to get some really cool entries for this contest. Some of them were from folks I've seen commenting, some were from people who've never de-lurked. Some were serious, some were funny, some were touching, most had me nodding my head and smiling.
I had three strong entries, and I was loathe to choose between them. I've decided that the two runners-up will still get their entries enshrined here on TLIW. But, to the victor go the spoils--and that winner is . . .

Rob Davies of Niles, Michigan!

Rob's entry is not really a "The Lions in Winter" post in my own style; it's more like a cross between William Gibson and Neil from Armchair Linebacker. But when this thing hit my inbox, it grabbed me by the lapels (um, of my T-shirt) and refused to let go until I gave it a Flip DV camera. I had no choice but to capitulate.
First runner-up, with a tale of the win that broke the streak, was commenter LionsFanRoc! With a strong intro, and a twist at the end that had me literally laughing out loud, the greater Lions world deserves to read this.
Second runner-up, also with a tale of the win that broke the streak, Weston Corbitt of Coloma, Michigan! You might know Weston from his sports blog, Season Tickets with Weston Corbitt. I loved the closing, it reminded me so much of my own experience of that day.
I'm going to stagger the publishing of these three, in order, over the next three Fridays. Tomorrow morning, Rob's goes up. Congrats again to the three winners, and thanks to everyone for their submissions!

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TLIW Axe Hair ACTION Challenge: The Contest

Everyone who’s been reading, or following me on Twitter, knows I’ve been teaming up with AXE to give  away AXE Hair Action Challenge prize packages: a quality leather shaving bag full of AXE Hair products, and a Flip digital video camera.

As we approach the final challenge over at AXE’s site, I’m offering up one more of my own:

Tell me about a time when you were proud to be a Lions fan.

When was the last time you held your head up high?  Wore your Lions gear with pride?  Saw someone walking down the street wearing Lions gear and gave them a nod, or said “nice [jacket|hat|shirt]”?  When was the last time you shouted and high-fived somebody over something the Lions did?

What’s your favorite memory of being a proud Lions fan?  A big win?  A memorable Thanksgiving?  A moment shared with your family?  Attending your first game in-person?

I want you to write about this time, this moment, this memory, and tell me about it.  To enter, email me with the subject line “AXE Hair writing contest”, and in the body of the email include the full text of the story.  Also include how you’d like me to announce your name, e.g. “Person” from “Place”, or your commenting handle.  My address is up there in the “The Flamekeeper” widget at the top of the sidebar. 

The winner will receive an AXE prize package—and their story published for the world to see here on The Lions in Winter.

Technorati Tags: detroit lions,matthew stafford,axe hair action challenge,writing,blogging,contest

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Behind the Scenes: Going Meta

When watching Matthew Stafford's AXE Hair Action Challenge videos, I suspected the existence of an outtake reel—a reel which, if it existed, the world deserved to see.  I was glad to discover I my suspicions were well-founded, and the good people at AXE fulfilled their duty to the global populace.

I like blogging the way I blog: solo instead of team, independent instead of part of a network, as a hobby instead of full-time.  There’s a purity of purpose, and of content, that I think is rare and special.  There is, however, a downside: any time not spent writing is time I'm not writing.  Answering email is not writing. Tweeting is not writing.  Reading other blogs, and commenting on them, are not writing.  Finally, working on my site’s appearance is most definitely not writing.

Most of those things still connect with you all, still involve share my thoughts, and are satisfying to me and to you.  However, working on the site itself is isolated, solitary work that bears no fruit until the work is done.  Meanwhile, TLIW withers on the vine while everyone patiently waits for me to, you know, write.

So.

The current layout is far from perfect.  It roughly matches the vision in my head, but does so at the expense of being excruciatingly slow to load, kind of glitchy, and not particularly professional.  According to Google Analytics, an embarrassingly high percentage of people come here, go “BLEH”, and leave without reading or clicking on anything.

I'm trying to find a balance between "clean" and "my vision".  Fortunately, my vision is pretty clean, so it's just a matter of execution.  I'm trying to maintain the overall impression of the site, but make it much quicker and user-friendly.  If you want to track the evolution of the changes, poke your head in at http://tliwindraft.blogspot.com.  BE FOREWARNED:

• Nothing works.
• Nothing looks good.
• Nothing is decided for sure.
• Yes, I know.

That having been said . . . have at it!  Meanwhile, I'm going to be writing.

Technorati Tags: detroit lions,nfl,matthew stafford,axe,axe hair action challenge,blogging,blog

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Fireside Chat #2: Matthew Stafford Interview

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for . . .

Crucial thanks to everyone at the AXE Hair team, who made this possible.  Second, I’d like to thank noted sportswriter and blogger Greg Eno, who gave me some awesome pointers on doing audio interviews.  Without his help, this decently-listenable interview would have been a laughably amateurish affair.  If you need any help getting your speaking or writing chops up, hit Greg up at www.gregeno.com.

Of course, get signed up for the AXE Hair Action challenge at the AXE Hair facebook page—and see if you can top Matthew’s Hair Action!  Finally, a tip of the hat to Matthew himself, who is a consummate pro, incredibly sharp, and a lot more polished at this than any 22-year-old ought to be . . .

. . . more thoughts later.

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No More Phone Calls, We Have a Winner

The winner of the TLIW Reader giveaway, who will receive all the tools necessary to defeat all comers in the AXE Hair Action Challenge is . . .

carne1dl@cmich.edu!

They asked:

If you could redo one play from the 2009 season, what would it be, and how would you do it?

What really drew me to this question was something I remembered reading last year: Matthew Stafford has an astonishing knack for remembering plays:

Detroit Free Press, April 27: "Rope 244, Pattern One, X Post, Cover 3," he said Sunday during his introductory news conference at Allen Park.

Stafford recited the play as if it were his phone number. He even remembered that it was a 22-yard completion -- and the receiver's name.

"I don't know if it helps me," Stafford said of his ability, "but I guess I learn from my mistakes, and I can remember seeing a certain defense and how it looked while I was playing and be able to recall that during a game."

Coach Jim Schwartz has been impressed with Stafford's recall ability.

"Part of this and any business, you need to learn from your mistakes," Schwartz said. "You need to be able to know where you've been in the past and know where you're going to go in the future."

So, if this is all for real, then Stafford ought to have a really excellent answer for us when I interview him today.  Yes, you read that correctly, I’ll be interviewing Matthew via phone, while he’s kickin’ it in Miami for Super Bowl week . . . so, keep your eyes peeled for that!

Oh, and carne1dl@cmich.edu?  Keep your eyes on your email!

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AXE Hair Challenge Satellite Contest Reminder

OFFICIAL COURTESY REMINDER: TLIW reader contest entries are due by 11:59 p.m. tonight!  At the stroke of midnight, this contest turns into a pumpkin—and the winner will be announced shortly thereafter.  Comment on the contest thread with your question to Matthew Stafford (and email address!) for a chance to win a Flip DV camera and some AXE swag!

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Matthew Stafford’s Axe Hair Action Challenge

When my high school girlfriend and I started dating, she showed her sister a picture of me; her sister reacted thus: “It looks like he spends a lot of time on his hair.”

That high school girlfriend is now my wife.  Coincidence?  I think not.

We all know about Matt Stafford’s girl-approved hair.  What we didn’t know before today is exactly how enthusiastically ladies approve of it:

So, as you can see, AXE products (and, apparently, a blue Mustang convertible) help Matt get plenty of “Hair Action”.  Now, he and AXE have turned the tables: they’re challenging you to make a video showing how AXE helps you get Hair Action.

"But Ty," you say. “I have no AXE hair products in my warder, nor digital camcorder with which to make such a film!”  That, my friends, is where you are wrong.  You see, AXE has also partnered with me, and provided me with an AXE Hair Action Challenge Kit to give away.  It contains:

• 1 Flip Ultra pocket-size DV camcorder
• 1 AXE leather shaving-kit style bag
• 1 bottle of AXE shampoo
• 1 canister of AXE hair putty
• 1 canister of AXE hair paste

If you look at the Facebook page for the challenge, there are some high-stakes prizes.  There are going to be four separate video sub-challenges, each running for two weeks.  Besides the daily prizes for new submissions, each of these four sub-challenges boast their own grand prize.  After that, there’s a further, ultimate grand prize—the winner of which will get an AXE-subsidized trip to the professional sporting event of their choice.

I want to make sure a Lions fan wins this thing.  It would be a crying shame if the savior of the most beleaguered group of sports fans on Earth issues a worldwide challenge, with a bounty of fabulous prizes at stake, and some stinking Cowboys fan gets showered with undeserved glory.

So, what do you need to do to win the Hair Action Challenge Kit?  A pocket Hercules of digital media, and a treasure trove of excellence de coiffure?  Simply reply to this thread in a comment, with your personal answer to this query:

If you could ask Matt Stafford one question, what would it be?

The winner will be chosen solely by me, based on criteria known solely to me, solely at my completely arbitrary discretion.*  HINT: entries will need to come from a a verifiable person—so please, if you don’t log in/register to comment, include your email address in your entry.  The contest ends on Thursday, February 4th, at 11:59 pm EST.

. . . I’ll also make sure your question gets answered.

*Under section 37B of the contract, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if -- and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy -- "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera... "Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera... "Memo bis punitor delicatum"! It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!

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